The Importance of Male Mentoring
The Community College of Philadelphia’s Center of Male Engagement invited three professionals to be on a panel to share our experiences with Black male college students. Below is some of what I shared:
“A decent quality of life is really about having reasonable expectations and being a disciplined person. Discipline starts when you are young learning to follow instructions, trying new things and failing. I learned to build go-carts, clubhouses and slingshots by watching older kids. I started building these things with my friends when I was 10 years old. But I hit my finger with the hammer a lot of times before I learned how to really swing it among other things. Also, the word of a disciplined person, wealthy or not, carries weight in other people’s lives. Being on time and getting to work before everyone else when it is necessary sends an important message. Simplicity is also important while undisciplined people thrive on complication and chaos. So, are you learning to be disciplined person?”
“Before you can know what your personal branding is, you need to know your purpose. Before Apple decided on its branding, Steve Jobs decided the purpose of the company. Too many people do this backwards because of their desire for fame and easy access to social media. They use branding as a smokescreen. Branding is supposed to be an extension of who you are, not a lie or a half truth. It is a process of ongoing discovery, not a fixed point. But once you figure this out, you will know where you need to be and where you don’t. For example, I needed to be here with you all because part of my purpose is to mentor and encourage young people, especially Black men. Why? Because I was just like you at the age of 18.”
“Talent will take you far but, in the long term, it is not what impresses people. Deep down, people are drawn to others that are driven by things that cannot be exhausted. Talent, fame and money can be exhausted but not character. For example, what carries you after your talent is spent? Perseverance, which builds character. If done right, college builds character because it is a pressure cooker environment with standards…at least that is what it is supposed to be. We need perseverance in a world that does not always give us a fair shake. Others unfortunately succumb to disappointment, resentment and blame others for their circumstances. Your job is to build on your failures so you are ready to hold someone else up when they need it. I would not be here today if a group of men had not pushed me to finished college.”
Four phrases I heard:
1. “I would rather not be famous and be myself than be famous and not be myself.”
2. “Our purpose is birthed out of our deficit, not our surplus.”
3. “I want to understand more than I want to be understood.”
4. “If life is built on experiences, then go get some dope experiences.”